Posted by Jamie Resker on Sat, Nov 21, 2009 @ 04:09 PM
Some questions can invite criticism. Let's compare and contrast two questions:
Bad Question: If I ask "what are my strengths and weaknesses?" I'm asking for criticism. It's almost like asking, "Tell me about my deficiencies". It's just not that helpful to give or get that kind of feedback.
Good/Better Question: "What do you consider one of my strengths and what one thing would help me be more effective in my role"? Phrasing the question this way asks the adviser to think forward as opposed to focusing on what's wrong with the person requesting the feedback. After all who wants to hear about their weaknesses? How we ask the question dictates the quality and helpfulness of the information we receive back.
Whenever I faciliate a program for a group and want feedback I ask, "What did you like about the session and what one thing would have made it more effective". Notice how asking, "what would have made it more effective" is different than what didn't go well- I'm asking for what could have happened rather than pointing out a problem- it then feels like advise as opposed to criticism.
The "One Thing"
Asking for one thing helps the adviser narrow down just the one key thought they have (key word being "one"). Why one thing? As the feedback receiver it can be overwhelming to receive too much information; plus people are busy and although they may want to go into more detail many don't have the time due to the pace and demands of today's 200 mph world. Keeping it to the "one thing" makes the information more focused and impactful.