02.  Speaking up early, without making it a big deal 

• “The best way to describe the approach is that instead of having a difficult conversation, you get to have a small, no-big-deal conversation. No one walks away hurt or demoralized, yet you’ve addressed the issue.”

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• “This session flipped a switch for me. I always thought you needed to give constructive criticism. I hate conflict, so I’ve done a poor job with that. I used the turnaround technique with one of my staff and got through a message that should have been communicated a year ago! Well received, and I’m already seeing progress (and the person doesn’t feel slighted!).”

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• "Very informative and inventive…easy ideas to apply that will help me be honest with my staff about performance tweaks in a way that doesn’t kill their motivation.”

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• “Most people, including me, let the first incident go hoping it won’t happen again. I’ve learned a way to address single but important incidents with a casual conversation.”

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• “I tried Jamie’s rephrasing approach with one of my top performers who takes any kind of criticism personally. She was completely receptive and was even excited about shifting a behavior.”

03.  From HR leaders

• “No more starting from scratch. Our HR team can quickly break down any performance issue and coach managers to respond clearly—without awkwardness or defensiveness. Senior leadership is impressed, and we’ve gotten great feedback from managers on our support.”

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• “We’ve trained managers on this for over eight years. As a state agency, we require annual reviews, but this program ensures ongoing conversations all year.”

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• “Jamie, I had to share this feedback from one of our managers: ‘Every time I give this person feedback, she gets defensive and deflects responsibility. Honestly, I’d given up. I worked through the issue during the workshop as my practice scenario, tried it out in the pairs practice, and made a few tweaks. I’m reporting back that I had the conversation. Pleasantly surprised (and relieved!) by her reaction. The non-confrontational but direct wording is magical. Thank you for scheduling the program!’”

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• “I’m using this to coach my supervisors when they come to me with employee performance problems.” 

04.  Redirecting patterns without revisiting the past 

• “I like the approach to dealing with an employee with a persistent pattern of odd hard to talk about behavior issues. Rather than bringing up things from the past, I’ll use this to help redirect the person’s future actions."

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• “The workshop couldn’t have come at a better time. I had a conversation scheduled that I was dreading, with an employee who is great with clients but treated our back-office staff like second-class citizens. The three sentences I put together to kick off the conversation got him to readily admit he was mistreating people. More than that, he acknowledged his behavior needed to change. He’s like a different person, but had I not raised it, he’d still be doing it.”

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• “I have a chronic complainer who would spend hours writing emails and copying everyone when she should have gone directly to the person she had the problem with. Every time I raised it, she justified her actions, got passive-aggressive, and wouldn’t talk to me for a week. I FINALLY found a different approach. She’s not only stopped emailing everyone, she’s dealing directly with the right people. Less drama and stress between departments!”

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• “I talked with a long-term employee with a history of problem behavior and was shocked at how positively she responded. Usually she’d get defensive and tell everyone else how she’d been mistreated. I can’t believe how well this works, and it’s pretty easy once you learn the process. I’m now coaching other supervisors on it.”

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• “I have an extremely bright employee who does her job but responds negatively when I raise an issue.  Honestly, even small issues I raise triggers such a negative reaction.  I always dreaded even a short conversation with her. This time there was no defensiveness, quick agreement, and she even gave me helpful feedback about how I could support her better. Truly a two-way conversation.”

05.  The 10-Minute Questions Conversation

• “Performance talks used to fall entirely on me. Not anymore. The 10-Minute Conversation puts ownership on both sides and has turned feedback into a real partnership.”

• “I’ve always had one-on-ones with my people, but the 10MQ goes beyond tasks and projects. It’s like going up in a helicopter to take a bigger-picture view of your work relationship—what’s working and should continue, and what can be done to work even better together.”

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• “I’ve never considered myself a great manager, but after starting the 10-Minute Conversations with my staff, I feel like a better one. I’m more connected and in tune with my people.”

• “I like how the conversation ends with specific action items. It’s not just an aimless conversation. The most important things get identified, and the next steps are clear.”

• “Most people we hire come from academia, and joining a startup biotech isn’t an easy transition. I’m using the 10MQ with everyone on my team to talk about what’s working and what needs attention, without blowing things out of proportion or taking too much time and energy. That’s a huge plus!”

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• “I spend most of my time talking about day-to-day work, not so much performance.  Now I’m having regular check-ins using the 10-minute format, and they’re different from my usual 1:1s.”

06.  From managers who didn’t expect much

• “I’m an experienced manager and wasn’t looking forward to spending four hours in this session. Best time I’ve spent in any training. I learned practical ideas that will save me time and aggravation when dealing with performance problems.”

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• “I’ve been a manager for many years and have gone through plenty of training programs that seem like a rehash of things I already know but never apply. This program and the materials are beyond compare.”

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• “At age 58, I often find myself thinking, ‘Where’s the beef?’. Not so with this learning opportunity. Thank you!”

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• “I’m a manager at a small library and work with three other women. I never wanted to be the boss, but here I am. I dislike confrontation and avoid it at all costs. Now I feel like I can deal with issues without causing problems or making people uncomfortable. I’m starting the 10MQ this week!”

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• “The only reason I rated this a 4 is because it was too short! I wish there had been more time to practice.”

07.  Recognizing what’s working

• “I love the three steps to craft positive feedback tailored to the employee instead of generic feedback.”

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• “Thinking of someone’s performance in terms of work results and behaviors, makes me intentional about how I give positive feedback and coaching on areas for improvement.”

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• "This class has given us real time human conversational ways to talk with people to help them amplify what's working and get better moving ahead using a positive approach.”

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• “Learned what to do outside of performance review time—new skills and tools to keep an ongoing two-way dialogue going with my team.”

• “I’ve always been frustrated by the annual review form asking for this year’s goals. I feel forced to make things up to fill in the form. I love this approach of shorter-term actions that are relevant and can adjust to real-time business needs.”